What were you afraid of? However, some of the reasons may be psychological in nature, and these can be grouped to help evaluate our individual situations. J Marie April 12, So she was fine with it, but you were less fine with it. I feel like there are lots of different kinds of sexuality, but my experience of men, growing up, anyway, the baseline desire is to have power in a sexual scenario. To varying degrees, we continue to feel helpless, detached, rejected or lost.
When I got into my 40s, I was dating more people in their 30s and late 20s, and there seemed to be a preponderance of people who liked being choked, which surprised me at first.
The Psychology Behind Rough Sex
Like dripping wax and light bondage. And how would you say it usually comes up? Yet, by inviting our own humiliation, we become in charge of it, and through the sexual pleasure we receive, we weaken the impact of childhood pain. Do you remember the first time someone initiated some sort of roughness? Whether we accept failure as our fate, confirming this negative vision of ourselves, or rebel against it and become an overachiever, the lack of self-worth influences all our interactions with the world. A couple of things come to mind.